Befriending People, not Friendship

I have a terrible realization these past days. There are times when people befriend friendship and not the persons. I mean, they make friends out of convenience, out of status, out of insecurities, but they really are not interested in the person. It is so easy to say that we are friends, but it is not that easy to prove it. Only time can tell.

I was sad because a friend recounted a story of how friendship that appeared to be real and deep is but a shallow relationship that verges on using people to get yourself on by. How does friendship really work? I don't have THE right answers, I can only offer my experience.

First, I believe friendship is all about PERSONAL ENCOUNTER. You meet the person and take him for who he is. You affirm the good and bear with the bad. And in this encounter, both persons grow and the relationship grows.

Second, friendship is very much like the banking business. You INVEST time, effort, energy, and gifts. It's not a matter of withdrawing the interest later, but more of investing in each other because there is much to be discovered and developed in one another.

Third, friendship is ART. You make one another beautiful so as to be the persons God want you to be. Holiness or sanctity or self-fulfillment could never be achieved alone. You have to work it out with others to discover the piece of God in you.

My prayer now is that should I have to undergo the relationship microscope, I be found worthy to be called a friend by people. It would be a sad case for me if I have become a parasite that has stuck to people to suck them of their goodness and goodwill. Yes, companionship and friendship is good, but we must remember it is all about dealing with people and persons.