The Only Victory

A sheathed sword, divested armor

The wearied soldier survives his war
Slumped down, head bowed in surrender
The fighter could only go so far

Battles lost and won in fighting
Bring nothing for him in glory
The toils for victory and sweat
Vain efforts of some short silly story

How life from its start to end
Is not measured by wins nor length
But through his daily struggles
The soldier dives to Wisdom’s depth

Victory could only last for long
In those who remembrance kept
Memory lasts in those who live
All glories fade when sun has set

A soldier becomes a victor when
He’s finally who he is
Through struggles fought he bares in soul
The story that is his

He bows his head, and leaves to rest
Takes nothing in his sleep
The soldier did survive his wars
His truth his only keep

Falling into Being

Let the darkness embrace me
Let everything around me be night
Still I won't be afraid, with you
Everything glows with light

Shadows may cloud over me
Yet with my eyes I still see
For vision is not just seeing
But accepting that things be

In this twilight more is present
And life pulses in my veins
Everything is connected and felt
Peace seeping, sadness wanes

For in you everything exists
And all that exists stay
Not one is lost nor lost in one
A many splendid way

As I am held within this tight
Unbroken web of truth
No harm is felt as I deeply fall
Into your bed of soothe

I am not afraid of getting lost
As I meld into you
The more I set loose and free
What is becomes more true

Of Tides and Seasons

The tides of the heart mark its seasons
Of coming and going, with and without reasons
Many wash ashore on my side of the sea
Yet soon taken away, far away from me
In all of this, the waves beat the sand
Along with the breeze that caress the land
Sometimes soft and smooth, sometimes strong
Yet none too short and none too long
Just enough in season and time for me to feel
The dance between my heart and will

If the joyous sun should shine on it
The sand would glow in its golden heat
And when the blue light of the moon
Embrace sweet sorrow and gripping gloom
Either way the beach with gentle beat
With each stroke, sand and water meet
It dawns on me that what feelings come
Come part of life, for most, for some
What matters most is that this heart may give
True love from tides it has received

True Measure

Not all beautiful songs are in the billboard list

Not all works of art are valued in millions

Not all talents are given Oscars

Not all humanism is given a Noble prize

Not all intelligent people receive diplomas

Not all hardwork requires big pay

Not all saintly people are exalted on the altar

Beauty is not measured in popularity

Nor is art measured in economic value

Talents can sometimes be found in small measures

But all the same we remain humans

Humans who seek knowledge and stay curious

Humans who strive against all odds

Humans who always have semblance of goodness inside

Seek then the transcendent

The higher values this world won't offer

Run after beauty, seek for truth

Accept with humility all reality

Yet remain steadfast in true freedom

For we are not measured in success, not even in joy

But in the measure of not measuring our love

Trust

Where will you bring me?
To where should I go?
I've gone too far
Can't see where I've come from
It scares me a lot
To tread new paths
Though they may be gold stones
And the skies be bliss
It's unfamiliar, I'm shaking
No longer my territory
I've gone too long, gone too far
Lost my security

Each step gives me chills
This road might break me
My strength might fail me
But the most that I fear
Is that I lose myself:
To forget who I was
To not know who I am
To never know what's to come
I'm paralyzed with this ignorance

Is it too much to ask
That you keep close to me?
Explain to me these things
Run through all these changes
And calm the fear that springs
The moment I let go
Losing control and blown away
By the plans you have for me

So I take this step
One stride forward into unknown
Not knowing where I'd go
Knowing only who I'm with

A Prayer Within

In the nothingness and brokenness inside me
In my fear of my own shadows I run back to You
For in You I find my freedom, my peace and my silence
And my heart rests like a leaf floating in a silent pond

In you I find the depths I find amusing
That never ceases to grow beyond and beyond
The excitement of such knowledge and wisdom I cannot keep up
Thrill is the ride inside You

We are locked in a dance, in a swirl of music
Yet the world is still as You hold my hands
And everything is a blur about us I care not
For my spirit is in Your hands in peace

Still

Hum as the silent wind blows past
The drapes that covers the window
As the shunned light begins to filter through
The room echoes the light
The light shines the silence
And the stillness overwhelms

No sound is heard but the walls are ringing
With shouts muffled by shouts
And I begin to listen, not hear
None of the clashing
No more of the buzz
But a single deep note that permeates

It beats as my heart
And heaves with my breath
I am one in motion
I am at home

I am drawn deeper and deeper still
Until I find myself surrounded
The silence envelopes
The stillness satisfies
I no longer want
It is enough to be here

Life Begins the Day

The distant echo of thunder
Fading far behind me race
Retreat against the downpour
Of golden sunlight on my face

I smell the fresh new birth
Of buds and dew and spring
Dance light to the chirps
Of bobbing birds on wing

Life begins the day
When night has made it sleep
Arising to embrace the morrow
Out of past purple deep

Alight on soft feathers
With leaves and wind and breeze
I take a step yonder
Upwards the sky's sweet kiss

Down and up above, within
Life is born anew
In every bough and branch
In every drop of dew

The moon to rest this morning
And sun to rise and play
Across the blue dome of heaven
As life begins the day

Silent Symphony

A symphony is heard in the distance

But the strings are untouched

The reed lay silent

And the baton lies still

The music plays inviting

It brings along peace

But the crowd is agitated

Like angry buzzing bees

Yet the hall remains silent

Claps from a pair of hands

Fill the empty stage

The silent music fades

A man longs to croon

Not a sound escapes his lips

In vain he tries pitifully

But his shouts remain mute

But the symphony increase in pace

His heart beat conducts

The still air stirs a little

While dust gather on the keys

Passersby walk deaf

But music fills the hall

Strings resound the walls

And the music goes on

You Broke Me Best

You broke me best by leaving me

Alone without ear for a sorry plea

Nothing much for me is left

From love that for years I've kept

In shattered pieces you have sent

My heart hurtling down and rent

Apart from where it once before

Stood close to your beating core

I feared I'd die the day you left

My soul wither away in bereft

But then I learned you set me free

When alone I came to who I am to me

In pain I learned, by pain I grew

And much of it I never knew

My strength comes in times of fail

And light in darkness will prevail

Just Remember

Broken to know brokenness

Hurtled down to reach the depths

Where light is not seen

Remember only its glimmer

And from there reach out for it

Until it becomes mine once more

Shadows cover my eyes

And I see no more than pain

But stings will fade away too

And I know I am strong

No more tears in this valley

But remembrance of the sun

Darkness may engulf my sight

And everything is night

It no longer matters

For in this dark brokenness

I continue on and on

With the sun in my thoughts

He Waited

He waits for me and this I know
But I did not give a care
Still he sends me flowers and kisses
And he longs for me to share
A gentle walk under the sun
A soft sleep under the moon
But I was blind to see this all
I was lost and numb too soon

So he wakes me up so gently
From darkness of my slumber
Greeted me with music and song
Crooning 'til I remember
Days when we used to laugh and cry
While everything else is blur
Content to live life together
In a love all time endure

Yes, I hear him singing his love
And he's crying as he sang
For this poor, old soul now amiss
Life's real sweetness and its twang
One deaf to hear his lovely voice
Blind to all nice things he bared
Lost in my darkness he found me
And held me tightly, he cared

The beauty of it all was that
Not much 'bout his gifts of gold
But that he waited long until
He can have me back from cold
For he waits for me and this I know
'til I learned to love his light
Even at night his stars burn bright
'til I would regain my sight

Until She Will

He only wished to find love
She found hers so she thought
He knows more than she'd admit
A love destined to be nought

Life's been cruel to her sight
She whose beauty is delight
To him, wished, touch this star
She who loves to fly afar

How long can he hold his reach
That one soul his heart still seek
To love and be loved one day
If above she chose to stay

But he loves her though she can't
He gambles time by the sill
Till she passes by through his thoughts
He will love until she will

From Ashes Soar

I look back to see a receding gray
And forward on to a golden day
Cast across the verdant green
And emerald sea unseen

Roses bloom to kiss the sky
Sunflowers then nod by and by
To hail the golden reign of sun
His majesty's royal rise and run

Red feathers drop then carelessly
In gust of wind to leaves of tree
Takes flight that bird of hope and light
Rebirth of passion, delight to sight

Sway more again the blades of grass
Arise once more new life en masse
To face the opening and opportunity
To grow and grow so tirelessly

Soar high it goes to endless heights
To tongues of fiery might and bright
Be crowned with sun's pure golden beam
Courage, hope, and joy redeem

Calling Out

The night no matter how beautiful

Is as dark as its velvet shade

When my heart is calling out to you

And the distance of so many miles apart

Are like clouds that cover the moon and stars

And my heart is calling out to you

Dreams limitless though they are

Fall short of reaching you afar

And my heart is calling out to you

A gaping hole demands to be filled

In my soul whose tears have dried

For my heart is calling out to you

Such sadness blinds the sun's rise and set

And the heavens hide her ornaments

With it my heart is calling out to you

Painful agony, how sweet to wait

For something that comes not yet

Till then my heart is calling out to you

I call then from my depths, please hear

And come in haste, be near

My heart is calling out to you

Love Over The Silence

In the midst of the silence I am there
Amidst the deafening silence that you bear
I move over the silence, in the quiet of your soul
Quietly moving, for me to make you whole

I am in every drop of tear that you cry
I am in the pain and sorrow of your sigh
And I break as your heart slowly breaks
Hearing every little prayer that it makes

You move in my thoughts, don't you know?
I loved you since before and even so
I'd die and die again for you to feel
You're never alone and that I'm real

There's no pain too great, I cannot heal
No problem too big we cannot deal
For you live in me and I in you
And in this silence my love rings true

***


I unearthed this poem from my journal. I remember I wrote it in one of the saddest days of my life, a little consolation from the Lord after a humble prayer of surrender.

Beyond

I wish to go beyond, to faraway
Somewhere far, farther than today
Beyond the small confines of my fears
Above the grey clouds of my saline tears
To where I can soar towards the golden sun
Where I won't have to hide or run

I wish to go beyond, somewhere
Fields of green and life to share
With those I love and closely keep
Near my heart and then gently sleep
In night's embrace and day's caress
In deep slumber of sweet peacefulness

I wish to go beyond, sometime
Where time stands still in my solitary mind
Each moment is all mine to seize
Wishes and dreams for my hand to reach
Far beyond, and farther still
Until nothing is but love to feel

If You Will It

Cast out from the mainstream light
Into the unknown, quandary night
No more now as I was then before
Scarred and chipped, disfigured sore

Heard then I from a distant shout
Walls that kept me once but out
That hope has come to take me in
Back to what my home has been

I willed it not, none will let me in
Hearts afraid of this fearful thing
Who once before was among many
Kins and friends of my past story

So if you will it, Lord, come take me in
Restore, renew, remake me clean
For none more painful than be away
From those you love from distant day

Will it, Lord, please make me whole
Only in you is my heart's console
I dare not touch, but I dare to plea
Before these people's cold apathy

Not in disguise I have come to ask
With nakedness in light I bask
For me to see my own misery
And beg you, Lord, take away from me

If you will it only, Lord, I cry
I bow to ask salvation nigh
O, look with pity on this sorry man
Lift him up, please, if you just can

I will it, yes, you said to me
I will it so wholeheartedly
In faith you came, more faith you go
Tell none, so that no one may know

How love has come to take your pain
And stripped you off your pride and vain
To clothe you in new man's dignity
And be assured you are loved by me

***


This poem has been inspired by the Gospel episode where a leper asked Jesus to heal him, saying "If you will it, Lord..."

Let me fall in love with Love

Let me fall in love with Love
When all other loves have faded
Let me fall in love with Love
In eternity it has painted
Shining stars in my broken dreams
Winds of flight for my broken wings
Let me fall in love with Love
Falling and loving again

Hopes falling to pieces in passing joys and glory
That pop like bubbles in my own small story
Of unbelieving faith and shaky trust
That fell down as in a cloud of dust
Then I realized I have lived in vain
When I saw love survive the pain

In pride I thought I loved the best
But such love could not pass the test
Of falling down and loving again
In standing up and spreading wings
To soar the sky of limitlessness
The depth and height of loveliness

Let me fall in love with Love

Falling and loving again

If To Love You Is Not To Love You

If to love you is not to love you
Is the only way to love you
How my love would fade away
So far, far away

If to love you is not to love you
Is the same as to hold my breath
As well as life itself
And die in silence

If to love you is not to love you
Is to give my heart away
No beat to keep me on
And I stop still

If to love you is not to love you
Is the hardest contradiction
For a man to ever face
And I fail