Thursday, April 26, 2012

When Difficult Questions Are Left Unanswered

It was supposed to be the annual celebration of the community. Booths were already put up and the community square is alive with the buzz of festivities. But the joyous noise were drowned by nine shots. People frantically ran for cover when the initial shock wore off. The kaleidoscopic turn of the Tamiao community stopped and faded to grey. Now the nights leading to their feast day only resounds with the background buzzing of crickets. No more are the laughs, only sorrow and fear. Questions abound, left unanswered by those series of shots that silenced joy.

This is the sad story of the Tamiao community in Compostela. The baranggay is not far from Don Bosco Liloan which is located in the adjacent baranggay of Cotcot, Liloan. The frantic screams were even heard by some in Don Bosco. An assassin sneaked past the crowd of onlookers of a variety show, aimed his barrel at the nape of Mr. Marieto Yraola and shot him point blank. The ensuing chaos claimed two lives for collateral damage, four more wounded, and a community shaken by shock and fear.

Fr. Jhun Paradiang asked me to come with him to the wake. The atmosphere was quiet. Most eyes were wide but empty. People were asking questions, "Why God, why?"

To me, the killer and those behind the plan did not just disposed of their target. With no reason to explain, two families are left without a father, another family with children below eight years old were left without a mother. They not only took out lives, they also killed the spirit of the community.

Surely, this is no will of God. Sadly, it is human will that brings about events like this. Human history is marred with selfishness and pride that takes a dig at the core of all that we value in life. I believe that the God who rejoiced with the community in their annual festivities is now among them sharing their tears. Perhaps, He too is asking, "Why man, why?"

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Jesus Curing

Mark 1:40-45
I AM. I do choose. Be made clean!

It is so in those days that when something so hideous, something that does not have a cure, and something so repulsive as leprosy would have to be isolated. There was no hope for them. It would be better to sacrifice them away from society, away from their friends, away from their loved ones, so as to save the integrity of the people of Israel. Perhaps they merited to receive such infirmity. They must have done something so wrong so as to incur the wrath and curse of God.

Lepers were left out. They were left out of the company where their very humanity learned to be human. They were left out to the very outskirts if towns, the very outskirts of society, the very outskirts of humanity. They were already less human. Leprosy has already eaten away parts of them and what remained of the supple flesh tenderly caressed, perfumed, and kissed by their own mothers have become a cover of stench, a layer of rotting flesh, an unpleasant sight to behold even by their very own mothers. Leprosy had eaten much of their humanity.

So when this leper heard that there was this rabbi, a miracle worker, along with his disciples, traveling along a road few would take, his heart skipped a beat. Is this perhaps his salvation? Surely, he has paid enough of his sins that heaven has decided that he has suffered enough. So he ran. As he came nearer, he saw them stop. Some of them shuffled and backed away. He was a leper after all. Some looked at their master, wondering what wonder would come from this.

It is always the eyes that betray a man's measure of another. Some eyes were aghast at his predicament. Some eyes looked with impatient indifference. Some eyes were bristling with excitement. One set of eyes looked at him intently, their gaze penetrating his very being as if his whole life story, his very history has been revealed and read in a moment. To these eyes he was so exposed. No amount of rags could hide the numb wounds and the sticky mess of his flesh. No mask could hinder those eyes from looking through his very defenses, from recognizing the wounds that has marked not only his body but also his very spirit.

In spite of such a powerful presence before him, he did not feel threatened. He felt a little fear. He feared that he was unworthy to be in such presence.

He shrugged the feeling off. This is the miracle worker people have been talking about everywhere. He had done it so many times before this time would be no different. He would corner him like so many others before that out of a tight spot, he would heal him. If he were truly powerful then he an do it. Otherwise, he has uncovered a scam.

He was confused more than ever on what to think of this man. He does not seem royal but there is just something in him that's amiss. He looks plain and simple but this man has troubled his innermost thoughts already. If he has to do this he must do it already.

He flung himself forward. With a gamble and perhaps a little faith and much more hope, he flung himself forward. He broke through the rule that a leper must not approach a clean Jew. He risk punishment but all the same he flung himself forward. He believed in what others say of this man. He shouted without looking up to those penetrating eyes, "Please, please, I beg you. If you choose, you can make me clean."

From afar, Jesus already knew his brokenness. He knew of the divide that rent this man apart. He knew his very heart. He heard it beat with excitement from a distance. Then it entered an erratic beat of confusion when light has been cast upon it. Surely, this man no longer knows himself. He has been stripped of his humanity a long time ago. This heart, despite being confused at the sight brought by Jesus' light, flung itself forward in resignation. It could not immediately accept the sight of itself. More so, it could not recognize the light shown in its eyes. It had too long dwell in darkness. Will it recognize Jesus soon?

Jesus' heart was moved with pity. Where people, even among his disciples, saw only the leprous man, he saw the child with a supple skin, broken and wounded by years of hate and rejection. He saw a victim. This man is a victim of sin. Contrary to what most Jews believe, this man is not only a victim of his own sin but also of the others' sin, of everyone's sin. It is not only a personal stigma, but a social one, a sharper dagger that cuts deeper into each man. His heart was moved with passion against such misfortune. Where his Father had fashioned a soul and made it dwell in a house of healthy flesh, sin and evil had worked out destruction that it had evicted the poor soul from his very self.

Jesus was given an option. He had been given so many before and this time it would be no different. He ha always chosen his Father's wishes. He has chosen to love everyone, not excluding anyone. Such option pierced his heart. It may be a sign of unbelief that it had been imposed upon him by this leprous man or it would only be the symptom of the devastation within. He wanted so much to heal him.

Two rules were broken on that encounter. One, when the leper broke his isolation and flung himself forward to this group of clean people. Two, when Jesus stretched out his hand to touch him. It shouldn't be. A teacher, highly regarded by many should not lower himself to this wretched man, if you still could call this sight a man. It is simply out of the social structure. It is taboo. It is forbidden. It is not like us.

Despite what others thought in their minds and felt in their heart, Jesus stretched out his hand. There is already enough divide. He is the bridge for everything. He touched him. His hand full of compassion and care touched the numbness of the leper's skin. The warmth of his hand touched the coldness of his flesh. It did not stop at a point in the finger where it could have easily been considering the circumstances of this man, but it went through the leper's helplessness. He reached out and had his palm rest over his head. The leper could feel the heartbeat emanating from Jesus wrists. Grace flowed down from his head down to his neck and deep into his heart.

There was no revulsion in Jesus, only tenderness. Jesus' eyes looked at him with love. His touch was more gentle and accepting than that of the leper's mother when he was born. No, this is a rebirth. Jesus accepted him without judging him. He could barely hear the response of Jesus when he said, "I do choose, be made clean!" He felt a rush of ecstasy at the joy of being accepted by this man. He was overjoyed at his luck. His gamble had paid of.

He looked at himself again. Though the rags were the same, his skin has been made new. He tore through those rags which has been his prison for so long, no, for a time they were his only home too. And he jumped. He could see the missing parts have grown back. No, it's as if they have never been eaten away and were always there just hidden beneath the sheath of filthy rags. He is complete. He is new. And he felt new. His healing is complete.

It could have been exultance or was it plain ecstasy? He forgot about his past life in a snap of a finger. He forgot about everything else. He was too overjoyed, too preoccupied by this fortune. Where he gambled a little bit of faith, he had reaped much more than he expected in a span of a nick of time. He was himself again. Isn't he lucky? This man, this man who cured him is a wonder. A wonder has touched him and changed him. Such wonder should not be left hidden. He must be exalted!

Jesus was happy at the sight of the cure. He has brought this man back from despair and apathy. He has given him his joy. Yet there is something wrong. He seems too overjoyed. He clung to Jesus and praised him but his praises were empty. It seems his eyes who were so used to the darkness were blinded by the light. He has not seen Jesus.

So Jesus warned him and told him that he can be his witness before the priests. He can be a light to others. But the ecstatic man was too joyful to hear. He went away shouting at his fortune, proclaiming the wonder he has seen with his eyes, but he failed to hear the message.

Jesus was sad. A few moments ago, he was happy to have brought a man back into communion with God. But not too often, man's heart is easily blinded with wonder it could not see the one behind such wonders.

Jesus Praying

Those who seek me with the eyes, see
Those who seek me with the mind, know
Those who seek me with the heart, feel
Those who seek me with the will, finds me in him


It had been a long day yesterday. His body felt tired but his spirit was brimming with the energy he too seeks to understand. It is pushing him forward although he does not know exactly towards where but he is sure for himself he is being called to do something.

It is strange. Being so sure but being so vague about it. It's as if it's already in the palm of your hands but you can't feel its texture yet. You can't even grasp it in your fingers and hold on tightly to it though you are sure you can and you will. It's not confusion but it is a disturbance deep inside you that just keep pestering your thoughts not allowing it to settle in a pool of calm. There is an upward movement, an active search for something you are sure you must know but not yet.

So, Jesus hid himself away from the crowd that had been surrounding him. Though he felt he belonged in their midst and felt fulfilled in ministering to them, the chirp of the crickets remind him that it is not yet the time. There us something he must do first before any other. He felt thirst.

It was not a physical thirst from the Mediterranean sun scorching everyones lips. It was a cool and silent early morning. The birds still asleep and so was the sun. Yet, he is uneasy and feels a pull towards somewhere and someone. It is a deeper kind of thirst for someone and he knew he had to be alone.

He got up from where he slept and silently walked away into the shadows disappearing from sight. And when he was alone he prayed. He closed his eyes and entered his inner abode. In the cover of darkness, Light met Light and no human eye has seen such wonder.

Peter awoke first. Unlike many mornings that had gone, he woke up with his heart pumping in his chest. It could have been just a dream but the faces and the murmur of those around him brings such dreams back to reality. It was real. It happened in time and space. A new prophet had arisen and he has been working wonders.

Except that this new prophet is strange. There is something odd about him. He exudes power in word and deed, a kind of power that bends one's knees. But such power is not subduing. Rather it is like a smooth flow of energy that invigorates the insides. Such power empowers.

Peter has not felt anything like it. He wanted to experience it more. He was searching for it. His heart was restless. Footsteps beat with his heart and he saw his friends coming. Their faces covered with worry just like the time when they lost their toy boat to the lake's current a long time ago. No, it was much more. There was tinge of sadness in their eyes, in the beads of tears at the corners, speaking of uneasiness at the thought that a treat has been taken away from them.

"He has disappeared," they reported to Peter. "They could not find him anywhere. Nobody saw him go."

These guys grew up with him and Peter is slightly amused at their helplessness. They already have families and children of their own, but it felt like they were young once more. He could feel his veins expand in excitement just like the time they had to search for some lost animal in the hills. He had been a hunter too but this time the game's much bigger.

He quickly got up to his feet, put on his cloak. He felt young again. He felt charged. "He cannot be faraway."

It was an unusual sound. The sun had just risen but the town seems to be in hush-hush. Something has happened. Someone has happened there. Peter and his companions took to the hills. They have grown worried. They could not find him still. They have followed the usual paths but there was no sight of him.

Why would he leave the village like that? Did he not see the amazement people had on their faces at the wonders he had done? They could have a messiah at last!

They stopped at their tracks. It was stupid enough to stray from the paved road to where there might be danger behind the end. Wild animals have been known to attack the villagers here. But when they saw him there, bent in total silence, his face full of peace, they realized they have entered a holy ground.

In this wayward part of town, a place seldom visited by people except for an occasional group of young men seeking adventure, Jesus is seen kneeling. The world just stops around him. Even the sycamore tree stooped to hear better the silence emanating from Jesus. It was an unmistakable peace and the world is struck at the sight.

The worries they were bringing along faded when Peter found him there. A few seconds after their feet stepped into that small circle, Jesus opened his eyes. He looked at them and smiled. They didn't know what to say an how to begin it."

"Everyone is searching for you." Peter was sure they were the only group who left looking for him.

"Let us go to neighboring towns, so that I may proclaim the message there also; for that is what I came out to do."

This man is unusual! He seems to be so sure of himself. It's as if he just finished meeting his advisors. He spoke with real certainty.

His companions looked at Peter. Were they to go? Are they also willing to leave their village? They haven't even said their goodbyes, nor have their food packed. Peter, the leader of that gang, nodded at them. He was sure that this man was sure. They can all place their bet on him. He will work wonders just as he had before. If he comes to be the messiah, then they have struck gold.

Jesus took to the roads again together with the group. They visited towns and saw much wonder worked everywhere. Yet in Peter grew a little disturbance, a curious search of where this new prophet finds his strength. But this is yet to be revealed to him.