I Fever

Ever since I met the "post modern" word and its friends "egoism", "self-actualization", and "self-centeredness", I have become conscious of how I begin my journal entries. Have I used "I" again as I begin this entry? I leaf through the pages of the past days, and, whoa, most of them begin with "I". This would be excusable since it is my journal entry. What if I begin everything with the "I"?

I, here I go again, get tired of people always talking about themselves. The conversation becomes boring and heavy when it could not go beyond the Me-Myself-and-I topic. Talking to people who cannot stop talking about themselves is like being sucked into a black hole. You just want to get out of it. We Filipinos call the most obvious ones as mahangin, but there are those who are more subtle. They start the conversation about something which slowly and silently spirals towards themselves. Yikes! It's pitiable because it is symptomatic of a low self-esteem or the non-acceptance of the self for one two always need the assurance and affirmation of other people.

People, and that includes you and me, are more self-centered now more than ever. We all have this level of self-centeredness, for it is natural to us, but it stinks like fish when it becomes selfishness. Are we not too pre-occupied with our self-image? Businesses capitalize on this in the multi-billion dollar enterprise of cosmetics and fashion. We have to go back again to the True Center of everything.

Silent Symphony

A symphony is heard in the distance

But the strings are untouched

The reed lay silent

And the baton lies still

The music plays inviting

It brings along peace

But the crowd is agitated

Like angry buzzing bees

Yet the hall remains silent

Claps from a pair of hands

Fill the empty stage

The silent music fades

A man longs to croon

Not a sound escapes his lips

In vain he tries pitifully

But his shouts remain mute

But the symphony increase in pace

His heart beat conducts

The still air stirs a little

While dust gather on the keys

Passersby walk deaf

But music fills the hall

Strings resound the walls

And the music goes on

You Broke Me Best

You broke me best by leaving me

Alone without ear for a sorry plea

Nothing much for me is left

From love that for years I've kept

In shattered pieces you have sent

My heart hurtling down and rent

Apart from where it once before

Stood close to your beating core

I feared I'd die the day you left

My soul wither away in bereft

But then I learned you set me free

When alone I came to who I am to me

In pain I learned, by pain I grew

And much of it I never knew

My strength comes in times of fail

And light in darkness will prevail